RETIREE'S TRIP TO COSTCO
>
>
> Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog
> chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out
> line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
> little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
> was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
> because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
> pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming
> out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>
> I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way
> that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and
> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is
> nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it
> again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was
> now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog
> food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a
> poodle's ass and a car hit me.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing so hard.
>
> Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
>
> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in
> the world to think of crazy things to say.
