OK this weeks how to is pertinent to lawn repair. If you have a dog that hates the cold and likes to pee in the same spot the entire winter (not that there are many options with 6 feet of snow in my yard), you might end up with some awful looking patches on your lawn. It's simple and quick to repair these spots if you have the knowledge and the right tools to complete the job.
OK first thing is to head out and round up the materials you are going to need. Best bet is Canadian Tire, if you're going to spend money support your Canadian suppliers.
There is a plethora of shitty products there for your lawn, don't get suckered in by all these magic products, like pet spot fixer and other fancier chemically enhanced mixed fertilizer stuff, stick to the basics, black dirt and grass seed. Get what you need and get the hell out avoiding all the Sunday ladies blocking the aisles and buying flowers and bedding plants so they will have something to do and talk about with their friends.
OK now there are several other things you will need. Get one of these.
It will keep this guy quiet and out of your way while you are working. Don't tell his mother you are feeding him sugar at 10 am though.
OK you will also need one of these for after the job is done.
Note: Do not under any circumstances open this until after 12 unless you want to be called an alcoholic by the wife!!
Also don't forget to stop at Tim Hortons and sit in the line with the rest of the idiots to get your mother in law a french vanilla at the demands of your wife. Likely some arsehole will order 10 breakfast sandwiches and 3 boxes of donuts and **** up the line.
OK you have everything you will need. Take the rake you never returned to your neighbor since last summer and claw out the dead patch in clumps. It's good to get as much of the whole area as possible.
After that's done take the black dirt and fill the area in. Pick up the ice cream your kid threw on the driveway after he decided he was going to help. Also give him the tool he is most likely not to hurt himself with or hit any vehicles with.
Throw some grass seed in the dirt, use lot's, don't be cheap. The more you use the more chance that grass might actually grow.
After that rake it all in then tamp it down with the rake. Try and convince the kid to stop digging it up.
After that walk around on it a bit, use those cheap dress shoes your wife bought you at Aldo and you already wrecked doing other projects with them because they are comfortable and easy to put on.
OK lunch time. Have the wife serve pizza in the wagon. Don't drink the kids juice box.
OK there you go, all you need to do is water it.
Alright now check the time. Is it past noon? OK good.
Don't overdo it.
There you have it, a quick guide to lawn repair.
